So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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