morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
