Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize