went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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