did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
