I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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