The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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