good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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