we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
