seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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