I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize