I want to stick my p in your. b.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
