Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
