Fuck appropriateness.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
