is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
