I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
