I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize