Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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