dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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