I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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