Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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