ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're a waste of cheezeits
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
