Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
