My liver just broke up with me...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
