the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
