if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
