a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
