So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize