end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
