I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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