did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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