I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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