i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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