It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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