Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
