You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
