with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
