Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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