Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I fill condoms, not promises.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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