she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
