i already hear my dad disowning me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
