Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
