I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Randomize
