after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
