It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
