just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
