Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
