I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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