my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
