We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
