i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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