my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize