I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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