the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
