so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
