I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
