I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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