i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
