just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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